In 1stC Ephesus, as in many places in the world today, the scale of human need was overwhelming.  Many people might flock to receive benefits from the church but had no interest in submitting themselves to Jesus.  The church had to prioritise.  Paul’s instruction to Timothy was inspired by the Holy Spirit.  Widows who had trusted God should be honoured, but only if they met certain criteria: then they could be included on a list of women who received food and other help from the church.
 
The list parallels the description of the ‘virtuous woman’ in Proverbs 31:10-31, except that these ladies were old (over 60 was old for those days) and widowed.  However, during marriage they were ‘one-man women’ (matching the monogamous description of elders in 1 Timothy 3:2).  They were hard working at home, in the family, in the fellowship of the church and well regarded in the community as being kind and helpful to people in need.

‘… washing the feet of the Lord’s people’ refers to Jesus taking the role of a servant to the disciples as they met in the Upper Room for the Last Supper (John 13:1-17).  Christ’s example of humble service was to mark His followers through the centuries.  Help given to such women was not payment for past self-sacrifice, but to honour those who had given everything because they loved the Lord (Mark 12:41-44).   So unfaithful, lazy, careless and self-centred women were excluded: the instruction would have also encouraged younger women to think about their lifestyle and learn to do what pleases the Lord while they were able (Ephesians 5:10).
 
Some may think that that is harsh, or that surely the church should be helping everybody.  But the scale of need is too vast even if every believer worked 24/7.  And it is not the job of the church to provide for everybody (Luke 4:25-27).  But it is the church’s responsibility to be a visible signpost to Jesus, the doorway of the Kingdom of God (John 10:7) and the King Himself.  As the world sees the church (the people of God) loving and caring for each other, so they will marvel about her Head, Jesus Christ, and be drawn to Him (John 13:35).  Focussed ministry is essential.  We cannot do everything; we just need to play our little part as the Lord directs.  Ask Him what He wants you to do, and do it well!