The trial, flogging and crucifixion of Jesus became the most painful episode in the life of His mother, Mary.  The prophetic words of Simeon to Mary at Jesus’ dedication would have come alive again, "This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too." (Luke 2:34-35).  Watching Jesus on the cross, she felt excruciating maternal agony.
 
And yet Jesus chose the cross out of loving obedience towards His Heavenly Father, and out of love for all sinful humanity including His human mother, Mary.  But that love also separated Him from Mary as His strength ebbed away.  That love separated Jesus from His Heavenly Father as He accepted responsibility for all the sins, of all the people, in all the world for all time.  "About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice … "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"" (Matthew 27:46).  

Yet at the same time, Jesus had loving compassion for His mother Mary.  She was being supported by other women but her grief was so great and her loss would be so huge.  Despite His agony, Jesus spoke tenderly to her.  Not now as His mother but as a woman with her own identity and needs.  He asked her to look at His disciple and apostle, John.  He asked her to allow John to be her protector and provider.  And then Jesus commissioned His closest disciple (John 21:20) to take care of her – keeping her safe from ridicule and destitution (it appears that Joseph had died by that time).  It was a poignant moment which John remembered all too well as he wrote that he took her in to his own home.
 
How can love both divide and unite, expose and protect?  It is the love of a parent who disciples a child.  It is the way real love works in a sinful world, because love never eliminates pain – love provides the reason to bear it.  Love is not blind to what is right, and does not ignore duty.  However, love does not ignore compassion.  On the contrary, love is willing to give and protect (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).  So where true love causes pain and appears to divide people, look below the surface to see compassion and self-sacrifice.  A sinful world makes our choices harder.  In order to please God, we may need to bear seeing loved ones in pain or distress, but always know that He will provide a way for us to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:13).  The Lord has the right to be our first love.  In the end He will honour all our choices made in faith, and help us to see that He will provide a good path for those whose needs we cannot satisfy.