Gaius, the recipient of this personal letter was a trusted and well-loved brother in Christ (3 John 1:1-3).  John wrote to Gaius to encourage him in his gift of hospitality (3 John 1:5-8), to stretch him to be more generous to travelling missionaries, but also to warn him not to follow bad examples.

One bad role model was Diotrephes.  He was a church leader but a proud man who loved to be in control.  He refused to accept the authority of the apostles and would not welcome them to his home.  It was a bad sign that he had no interest in spreading the gospel, because all the apostles had been specially appointed by Jesus to travel and make disciples who would follow Jesus (Matthew 28:18-20).  Their teaching was the authoritative Word of God under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 15:1-2).  So when Diotrephes refused to welcome the apostles on their missionary journeys, and spread lies about them, his behaviour showed that his heart was not right (Acts 8:21).

Even though an essential qualification for church leaders is that they are hospitable (1 Timothy 3:2), that rogue leader would not even welcome other believers.  Instead, he excommunicated church members who wanted to be hospitable.  John is quite blunt in saying that kind of behaviour is evil and does not come from God (James 3:14-16).  John’s condemnation was even stronger – although Diotrephes was a church leader, his behaviour was evil and proved that he did not know God (1 John 4:8).  Therefore, Gaius must not imitate that bad example.

When we are inexperienced, we usually assume that more experienced people are wiser than we are, and we copy them.  But we must be careful.  Ask yourself, is their heart tuned to the Lord's, is their behaviour godly, is their leadership Christ-like (1 John 4:1)?  There are no perfect leaders, but we must be discerning so that we can wisely choose which role models to copy in ministry as in other areas of life.  As we read about God’s standard of godliness in the Bible, and pray about whose lifestyle we could imitate, the Lord will show us who know Him and are following Him, and who is not.