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The Commitment to Commitment

Ephesians 5:31-33
'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (NIVUK)

In these verses Paul seems to mix up the themes of human marriage with the relationship of Christ with His church (Ephesians 5:23-26).  First, the apostle writes about the intimacy of husband and wife, then he says he is really talking about the Lord and His people.  The latter, Paul says, is a great mystery.  By that, he means that this is a divine truth which cannot be discovered except by God's revelation (Colossians 1:26).  As we listen to God's Word, we understand that godly marriages give us an insight into the extraordinary love of God for us; and the example of His loving grace is to spur our marriages to be godly.  Marriage is an indivisible unity of people who started off so opposite to each other.  And that is also true about becoming a Christian: we had to put off our old way of life and receive God's grace (Colossians 3:9-10).  

Marriage, without leaving home, invites problems.  Sometimes there is no other option when independent finance and housing is unavailable.  Sometimes it is a family or tribal tradition to live in an extended family.  Of course, it is important to love and honour our parents, even after we are married; and those who marry young will need the family's help and guidance.  But there is a problem when the grandmother or mother continues to assume ultimate authority over the newly married couple and later, their family.  God has designed each new family unit to develop its own life, under His guidance, as the husband and wife move from the control of their parents (Genesis 2:24).  

Marriage is always strengthened as husband and wife invest in each other.  Without mutual love and respect, holy matrimony can become an unholy mess.  Husbands who do not decide to love, and wives who do not choose to respect their husbands, are on a slippery slope.  The same is true between Christ and His Bride, the church.  His commitment to us is constant and undiluted: but what about our commitment to Him?  If we are more committed to other 'gods' or 'lords' than to Jesus, our Christian faith will become detached from its mooring in God's Word and shipwreck is inevitable, given time (Colossians 1:23).

Likewise in marriage.  The incursion of third parties or the obsession with other priorities at the expense of our wedding vows, will spell disaster if left unchecked.  The way in which you allow them, or your colleagues, to set a framework for your marriage, may also describe how you let the worldly patterns, which you should have left behind, reflect how you relate with the Lord (Titus 2:12).  It is well worth conducting a serious personal review based on both parts of Paul's argument in these verses.  How committed are you to developing your marriage; and how committed are you to your relationship with Jesus?  And how does work or leisure encourage or distract you in both commitments?

Prayer 
Dear Lord. Thank You for this reminder of the need to be committed to Jesus, and my spouse. Forgive me for the times I have ignored my responsibility to develop these special relationships. I need Your help in both areas of my life, and I pray that my time at work or in leisure will strengthen both and not weaken either. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
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© Dr Paul Adams