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Indivisible Unity

Ephesians 5:28-30
In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. (NIVUK)

Individualism has been one of the cultural curses of the so-called civilised West.  Of course, personal responsibility is an essential part of any relationship, especially with God, and this has encouraged both the entrepreneur and the maverick explorer (and the pioneer missionary).  But the idea that we are self-sufficient, so that we can do it all on our own, is false (2 Corinthians 3:5).  God does not work like that, so why should we think that we can?  The Father, Son and Spirit have always existed in the mutual harmony of the Godhead, the very essence of family (Ephesians 3:15).  As man and woman have been created in God's image, they are designed for relationship and indivisible unity (Genesis 2:21-24).  

No community or marriage can last long if the individuals think they are greater than their unity.  Alas, too many marriages, and Christian ones at that, have little to say about community, wholeness or organic unity.  There may be mutually beneficial 'facilities sharing', but 'oneness' may not really happen.  That is why we need to look at the way in which the Lord Jesus Christ considers His relationship with the Church.  Astonishing as it may seem, He considers us not just an extension of His mission, but a part of His Body.  We do not just 'belong' to Him but we are incorporated into Him: just like a failing company that has been taken over by a global name.  It is in His interests to ensure that all we need is provided for, and He does everything to encourage our devotion and love.

Loving care is not just a maternal instinct.  It is a divine characteristic (Psalm 145:9) to be held and demonstrated by everyone who is responsible for others, like the apostles (1 Thessalonians 2:6-8).  Yet maleness in many parts of the world has been duped into being a self-serving mixture of power and lust.  Tribal customs, family habits, the examples of success encouraged by education and military service, all contribute to the distortion of the image of God as macho males pursue their goals and treat their wives unworthily.  But if we know that Christ nurtures and cares for us, the members of His Body, even more than self-respecting people look after their own bodies, then should men not care for their wives with that same attitude of caring self-sacrifice?   

That is what marriage should be like.  The husband is not only responsible for the decisions and prosperity of the family but is also responsible for the well-being of his wife, caring for her needs.  The two people in the marriage are one (Matthew 19:6) in the same way that the Christian is indivisible from Christ.  But why is this comment addressed to those in the workplace?  Firstly, because we are examining every verse of this letter; but significantly because many marriages are unwittingly ruined at work.  Whatever your loyalty to your boss, employees and colleagues, you are (probably) not married to them.  So, never forget those solemn vows to your spouse.  At the end of your job, has your marriage grown or shrunk to fit the cracks that work has left behind?

Prayer 
Father God. Thank You for the gift of marriage. Forgive me for the times I have not honoured You as I should or been grateful for Your care. Forgive me for the times when I have not given priority care to my spouse. Please help me and all my colleagues to keep a godly perspective on all our responsibilities, especially our marriages. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
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© Dr Paul Adams