True love is not primarily a matter of our emotions, but of our will.  It is our thought-out decision to sacrifice ourselves in the interests of another person (1 John 4:10).  Yet Jesus does not leave us to love those we like and ignore the others.  He commands us to love all other believers, irrespective of what we may think we will gain from the relationships.  Our love for others in Jesus’ church is to be without reserve or condition, because He said so.

Love always involves sacrifice, because pleasing the other person may often be inconvenient and costly to us, as it was for Jesus .  When you see a family working together and caring for each other like that, parents and children, and siblings with each other - that is love in action.  Now in Father God’s family, our ‘big Brother’ Jesus (Hebrews 2:11) has shown us how much He loves us.  His willingness to lay down His life is His demonstration of how we should love each other – which is also a witness to the world of the supernatural relationship we share (John 13:35).  
 
True friendship is also self-revealing.  We cannot expect others to know about us, unless we reveal ourselves to them. That is the friendship Jesus offers – not only telling us what pleases and displeases Him, but also sharing with us the person He is and the purpose for which He came into the world … and the part He wants us to play.  He wants us to be with Him in His family business, not as servants but as partners in fellowship with Him, the Father and the Holy Spirit.
 
Naturally we are afraid of unlimited self-sacrifice and self-disclosure.  Both take us out of our comfort zones and therefore away from being in control.  Jesus came to please the Father; and His disciples must respond to Him and each other in the same way.  We can never say that we do not know what pleases the Lord, because He has told us.  We validate His friendship as we obey Him, which includes being open with others and serving them in Christ’s Name. So let us love each other (1 John 4:7-12).  But we need to be careful we do not fool ourselves: 1 John 3:18 says, “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”