When people are close to us, we may take them for granted.  We may abuse the relationship in some way without realising how our own selfish demands destroy mutual love and respect.  Jesus told His disciples that it was love which drove His relationship with the Father, and with them.  That love was not a sentimental emotion often portrayed in the media, but a deep heart passion to please the other person. That was why Jesus came to earth - to do the Father’s will (John 14:31).  In the same way, He expected His disciples to express their love for Him by obeying Him.
 
‘Remaining in Christ’s love’ is an intentional, disciplined desire to please Him (John 15:4).  We know what pleases Him because we have His teaching.  So, when we obey His teaching, we show that we love Him (and when we wilfully or negligently disobey Him, we show that we do not even care for Him).  Of course, we can never earn His love however hard we try to put His teaching into practice – that becomes a religion of works, like that of the Pharisees, rather than a relationship of grateful love.

The Lord always initiates the relationship (1 John 3:1).  We receive His love, forgiveness and His Spirit as gifts of His grace.  But having gained so much in Christ, we have a personal responsibility to remain in Him.  Again, we are totally dependent on His life flowing through us, and He gives us a desire to do what pleases Him (Philippians 2:13) … and be prepared to make the necessary sacrifices to ensure we are obedient.  As we do, we will experience the satisfying joy of obedient love.
 
Loving obedience is always sacrificial. Remaining in Christ’s love will always require an exclusive and passionate focus on Him. As Hebrews 12:1-3 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy that was set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Is that a description of your relationship with Jesus?  If so, keep pressing on where He has marked out the way.  If not, stop taking Him for granted; repent and ask the Lord to give you a new heart to please Him, the courage to obey and His joy as your relationship is restored.