In one of the most surprizing passages of the Bible, the Apostle Paul confesses that he is not in full control of himself.  He writes in the present tense; it is his daily struggle.  For an educated man with theological training (Philippians 3:5-6), and a personal encounter with Jesus Christ who commissioned him as the Apostle to the Gentiles (Acts 26:12-18), he was amazed at his inability to regulate his own behaviour.  

The great apostle was perplexed that he was unable to do what is good or to stop himself from being bad.  His lifestyle demonstrated that God's law was necessary as an essential external moral reference point, because he knew he was accountable to God (2 Corinthians 5:10).  That was not only what he preached to others, but also preached to himself.  Despite knowing that God had greatly used him to bring salvation to many, and very eager to be holy in every part of life, he also knew that he was still a sinner in need of God’s grace and forgiveness each day.

His personal dilemma is also ours.  A knowledge and desire to do what is right is so easily overpowered by the sinful nature which still lurks inside us all.  Paul was not excusing his behaviour, or avoiding responsibility for his sins; but he fully admitted that his sinful nature was stronger than his self-discipline.  Indeed, that old nature which is in the habit of sinning is not good in any way.  It defeated even his best intentions.

While discipline is essential in the Christian life (2 Peter 1:5-11), it can never kill the inner urge to defy God.  Discipline can protect our time and fill the spaces in our lives where mischief breeds, but it can never reform our hearts or make us holy.  It is essential that we realise this, otherwise we will deceive ourselves into thinking that our religious piety and social action will make us acceptable to God. No, we need Jesus to be our Saviour and give us His mercy and grace which we do not deserve (Ephesians 1:7-8)!   Without that grace we can never live in relationship with Him.